Midori

Fantastic!!!

Where will you be

Where will I be when I realize a new casino has opened in Las Vegas (omg!)?

Hopefully not floating comatose in a pool like those things in Minority Report.

Snuggling or snatching!?!!!

I don't understand -- if a stranger is touching your butt on the subway, probably whether they are trying to snuggle or snatch, it is a problem either way?

Or is this ad telling us to suspect our significant other of trying to pickpocket us when it seems they're just going in for a friendly subway pinch?

Depressed? Diabetic? Depressed and Diabetic? Neither one?

What???  So...basically everyone then, is what you're saying?

It then goes on to say, "If you fit into any of these categories, and are between 30-80 years old, you may be eligible..."  So again..."any of these categories"? Wwhh-a-tt???! !

Whoever I was with when I took this and I were sitting there thinking, this guy in this photo has got to represent us sitting here trying to figure out which of these categories we fit into.  It's just so freaking CONFUSING!?!!

Something about the wording...it makes my brain feel like it's on crack!!!  I like it!!

Lots of Strength

One of the things I miss most about living in D.C. is seeing ads like this in the Metro:

Every time I walked by this one, I used to get a little thrill.  I'd honestly think to myself, "I love this country."

This is definitely one of my favorite ads of all time.

Where I learned to sketch out my guest

[click to enlarge]

Text: "Where I learned manners. Where I learned patience. Where I learned to impress my guest. My kitchen was designed for my world. Simplicity meets convenience with the Rezno faucet by Moen. Designed for life. Yours."

As she gingerly examines the Cucumis metuliferus, or Horned melon, that this horny melonhead has just handed her (passive-aggressively communicating his fear of vagina dentata and incapacity for intimacy), this woman fake-smiles, buying herself time to calculate how long it'll take to grab the knife and sprint to the door, and thanking God she hadn't touched the roofie-laced wine.

Are there really still aspiring metrosexuals out there who can be duped into splurging on design by fawning appeals to their supposedly seductive aesthetic judgment? Maybe if he had spent money on some decent food she would be impressed. But a phallic piece of plumbing hardware? Gross - me - out.

Profit to the power of insecurity

This ad's argument, put in economic terms, is that the man's awareness of the "sunk costs" of the diamonds he's bought for the woman will exponentially increase his commitment to having sex with her alone -- since, having already spent so much money in order to have sex with his current partner, the prospect of going out and spending a whole bunch more on diamonds for a new parter seems too expensive.

"Hearts On Fire?"  More like "Hearts Incinerated."

Of course, economic theory argues that it is always a mistake to take sunk costs into account when making decisions about future investments.