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Text: "Where I learned manners. Where I learned patience. Where I learned to impress my guest. My kitchen was designed for my world. Simplicity meets convenience with the Rezno faucet by Moen. Designed for life. Yours."
As she gingerly examines the Cucumis metuliferus, or Horned melon, that this horny melonhead has just handed her (passive-aggressively communicating his fear of vagina dentata and incapacity for intimacy), this woman fake-smiles, buying herself time to calculate how long it'll take to grab the knife and sprint to the door, and thanking God she hadn't touched the roofie-laced wine.
Are there really still aspiring metrosexuals out there who can be duped into splurging on design by fawning appeals to their supposedly seductive aesthetic judgment? Maybe if he had spent money on some decent food she would be impressed. But a phallic piece of plumbing hardware? Gross - me - out.
